Simply listen !
I took this picture in Greece this year.
It was a coincidence to have discovered this place at all, since only a narrow road, which you drive past quickly, leads to this place. I’ll come back to this picture later.
For several years I had to painfully experience the consequences of NOT listening properly. Back then, many many years ago, there was always the rumor and rumor that the company would be sold.
One day my boss came into the office in a suit and very “dressed up”. I was engrossed in my work, looked up briefly and asked him “Well, what are you up to today?” and turned back to my monitor. I neither waited for the answer nor really listened to it. My boss at the time was still talking to my colleagues, I could overhear that in passing.
I also noticed that he was leaving – looked away from my monitor – looked at him and said “get ’em down and show ’em how it’s done” in the back of my mind, of course the rumor with a takeover.
Silence in the whole office.
I looked around.
My boss looked at me and said “Alex, I told you before that I’m going to a funeral and the person is already ‘done'”.
I looked at him – wanted to disappear into the ground – looked back at the monitor and was really ashamed.
It made me so uncomfortable and really went through my marrow and bones.
I asked the question casually without waiting for an answer and then made the most pertinent comment. It was – disrespectful -.
Since then, I have given my undivided attention to the person I am talking to or when I am asked “How are you?”. If I wasn’t interested in the answer, then I didn’t ask, even out of politeness.
It is so infinitely important to be present in a conversation, to be there. Not constantly looking at the clock, the cell phone, the monitor or even out of the window. The only thing you have to look at are the other person’s eyes. We ourselves really like to be seen by others, and it is precisely this appreciation that we should share with others.
We ourselves really like to be seen by others, and it is precisely this appreciation that we should share with others.
Of course, when an important call comes in, you can answer after apologizing and put the conversation on “hold” for a moment and then continue undivided afterwards. If my head is engrossed or somewhere else, then since then I’ve been saying “Please give me 5 minutes and I’ll be right with you” or “Shall we go for a coffee later? I would like to talk to you with more peace and time”
You will also see how much you will listen attentively between the lines. How much of the conversation you will remember because you are really listening! And, you will hear how much more your counterpart tells you.
Therefore, in the next conversation your attention and your gaze is only directed to one thing: to the words of your counterpart and the eyes of your counterpart.
The aforesaid picture has so much meaning for me because there was a lot of nice things to see and even more nice things to hear. On the beach there were stones, shaped by the sea and about the size of 2 hands. With every wave you could hear the rushing of the waves and with every retreat of the wave you could hear the steady splattering of the stones that were being moved through the sea.
It was unique for me – this dull – even – rhythmic rumble of the stones and the gentle and firmer murmur of the sea. This coupled with the sight of the waves that piled up, hit the stones and retreated smoothly.
Both together resulted in one thing – an auditory and acoustic spectacle. A spectacle that can only be experienced by actively watching and listening.
It’s the same with our conversations.